We bought mouse traps designed to kill the little fuckers. The cashier was looking at them, and at first I thought she was going to make a comment in the negative, but then she said she'd been having a mouse problem too, and hadn't tried the traps she'd had. She had tried poison. The mouse would eat the poison, which came in a large green block form, but it took about a week to kill the thing off. So in the meantime, she kept finding green poop across the floor.

God, yuck.

I may not be able to stay employed with a chemistry degree, but I bet I could concoct something to kill a mouse within minutes of consumption.